...English

Nate texted me earlier today and told me that I needed to find something to read aloud at the dinner table tomorrow. I thought he was joking. Nope. We've been invited to join his girlfriend Genevieve and her family for Thanksgiving dinner, and the (English teacher) hostess has a tradition--everyone reads something aloud. Oh dear. It's not enough that I'm meeting new people and wondering how dressed up I should be...now I have to READ something! But what? I've been asking friends for advice. Jacque favors humor, Lorin likes poetry, and Lisa said she'd have to think about it. So...I sat down at the computer and googled Thanksgiving poems, jokes, and true stories. M'eh. Nothing caught my attention. Then I remembered a poem about learning English. How appropriate for an ESL teacher? I didn't find the exact poem that I have on file at school (and I don't want to take the time to go dig it out) so I'm going to read the following, written by Lord Cromer (whoever he was!) in 1902.

Our Strange Lingo

When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose
And think of goose and yet with choose
Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don't agree.